10 rules for being a good au pair in all the world whilst learning and having fun
In this section we want to give you some advice that may be useful when you are away from home in a different country that you don't know and as a guest of a family that speaks a different language and probably has a culture very different from yours. We hope that these tips will help you not to be discouraged by difficulties that inevitably may come across, so that your au pair experience will become unique and unforgettable.
1. Before leaving to become an au pair, besides packing your bags and preparing the necessary documents, prepare yourself psychologically and think about the fact that not everything will be easy and that you will undoubtedly encounter some difficulties, the first of which will be the language of the host country. So study a bit, review the basics, do some speaking exercises or watch movies in their original language (which will make you feel a little safer when you arrive at your destination).
2. The second difficulty will be meeting with the host family. Evaluate different families before choosing where to go, try to get as much information as possible about them, and don't make your choice only based on the pocket money, but look for the family that seems more similar or closer to you and your way of life. Consider the spare time and the availability of the family to spend it with you, this is important to get to know each other better and to appreciate their culture.
3. Once you arrive at your destination be active and participatory, always polite and when you do not understand exactly what is happening around you because of the different language, don't close yourself erecting a barrier between you and the family. Remember that you are there to break down language and cultural barriers. If you don't understand something you can ask the family to explain it more times, the family will appreciate your efforts.
4. Now you find yourselves in a family that has hosted you and the host family has the duty to treat you as a member of the family and not as an employee, as domestic help or just a simple babysitter. You must always keep in mind that in exchange for its hospitality the family wants your collaboration, so you have to try to be helpful in any situation, and you have to talk with them about any problems or difficulties encountered. They are parents and will understand you.
5. But the most important chapter that you'll need to deal with is the one of the children. You have been invited by the family, especially to take care of the children, this task is often the most difficult. The children are adorable and so cute and many young people love to cuddle them a bit, but just a little bit, if you have no experience in taking care of children you have to know that you will get tired after this little time with them. They are very demanding and they want to feel especially loved. So don't just watch them from a distance while sitting on the couch and reading a magazine, because the kids want you to participate in their games, they want you to talk to them in a sweet ad comprehensive way, you have to be a friend and even a sister for them. Children like young people who can devote to them the time that their parents don't have because of very busy work schedules.
6. The family expects a lot from you, sometimes too much, so if you cannot handle the situation have a talk with them and let them know that it is being difficult for you and that you may need more time to learn well what they want. Don't make the mistake of isolating yourself in your silence and in your room. In your free time go out and discover the country, you will see that it is not so different from your country and you will be able to meet a lot of interesting friends. Join a language course or attend a gym, go to pubs and cafés, which are places where you can meet many people. The important thing is not to get bored, alone or in company you can still have fun. You should not disdain the company of the host family who will help you discover places that you couldn't visit by yourself and you will discover that their company is much more pleasant than you had thought.
7. Don't look for another job. Don't expect to increase the pocket money that the family gives you, by working somewhere else in your spare time. This will just make you tired and you will not enjoy your experience as an au pair. You are not there just to work, but to participate in a cultural exchange that will enrich you not just economically, but as a person as well.
8. We have already said that you should not choose the family that gives you the most pocket money because it is not for the money that you will face your long journey. Don't underestimate the weight to live in a different country for a few months without having to pay for accommodation and for the food. If you think the family pays you too little money therefore they exploit you, think about everything that they are offering you and put it onto an scale. You will find that it is not that little. However, it is clear that no one has the right to exploit you.
9. If the misunderstandings between you and the family become unbearable, always with education, tell the family if you decide to go away. But you must give the proper notice, so the family can have the time to find another au pair or another solution to their problems. Do not run away, it is not the correct way to grow up, and make sure that the children do not suffer from the tense atmosphere that has been created. So you have plenty of time to think and decide whether to return home or find another family to continue your experience.
10. At the end of your journey, you have certainly learned many things, you have improved a foreign language and you are now able to understand everything and hold a conversation, You know enough about the culture of the host family, their way of life, their eating habits. You learned to get around in another city by public transport or by car provided by the family, so you know the streets, clubs and shops. The separation will be tough and what at first it was difficult, now it is familiar, understandable and certainly wonderful. Promise yourself to return to see the host family and to keep in touch with them. Say to them that you might come back for the next Christmas. The detachment will be easier.
If you want to tell us about your experience as au pair feel free to email us at info@aupair-online.com we will publish your story. Thanks
10 rules for being a good host family
We hope that these tips will help you to not be discouraged by difficulties that inevitably will come across, so that your host family experience will be unique and unforgettable.
1. You have decided to host an au pair, but the choice is long and difficult. This is because you don't know the au pair nor her family at all, so you have many questions about how to find the right one for your family and your lovely children who will be entrusted to an au pair. The first rule to follow is your intuition and the kindness that you immediately feel when you see the au pair's photo, but don't forget that appearances often deceive.
2. First of all it is necessary a good communication between the family and the au pair, this is because the au pair will take care of your children and she will live in your home, so you have to make sure that the rules are very clear. Then a certain degree of affinity is always necessary for a good life together, and understanding each other is behind this. So you should look for an au pair who speaks your language a bit, who knows at least the basics to communicate with your children and others when you are away from home.
3. When you host an au pair, even if she is over 18, you still have responsibilities towards her, you give hospitality to foreign girls who probably have no one other than you in the country. So make sure that the girl is in good health, that doesn't take drugs or alcohol and that she has health insurance for the period that she will be in your house.
4. The sentence “The au pair must be treated as a member of your family" must not only be a good phrase to write and read, because the au pair has this right by law. She is not an employee nor a maid nor a simple babysitting, but a girl from a good family, often a student, and most likely the au pair does not know what it means to really work, by the difference in age she could even be your daughter.
5. Consider that will come into your home a girl who doesn't know your language nor your culture, or your cuisine so make sure you talk to her as much as possible in order to try to understand what her difficulties are. In practice you will have another daughter, the first time will be hard because you have to teach her all about your home, about your habits, and especially about your children.
6. Speaking about children it is for this reason that you will host an au pair, she will look after your children and she will spend many hours with them. And that's why you must trust your au pair. Undoubtedly, the trust is built day by day, so don't expect she will know all about your children immediately, or that she will love them immediately. She will need to learn and it takes time. We recommend to support the au pair for a couple of weeks by not leaving her alone for a long time with your children, but if you cannot do this, ask for help to the grandparents or whoever is close to you, it is important for the au pair not to feel alone in the first difficult moments.
7. Your children need a little time to get used to the idea of having an au pair or anyone else taking care of them too. Children will love the new au pair soon, but only if she shows affection to them and she is determined not to give up. So try to guess before she comes, through letters or telephone calls if she is a strong, decisive and independent person, and if she has clear ideas about being an au pair. Let her understand that it is not only fun, but there will be times when the work will be hard or other times that she may be bored.
8. Do not promise a lot of pocket money to the au pair, you are offering a room and food too, which it is not an indifferent cost, and you also make available a range of services (washing machine, internet access, heating or air conditioning, pool, etc. ...) that she would have to pay if she lived in her own, so surely she couldn't live as many months away from home. The au pair is not an employee but a member of the family, she is very similar to one of your oldest son so she is not entitled to a salary, but only to pocket money.
9. If, after a long selection the girl who is arriving to your home is not as you expected her to be, or if she cannot keep up with what you want her to do, then talk to her and try to understand her difficulties and help her overcome them, but if you really cannot because her personality is incompatible with yours, then tell her gently that for the sake of your family and your children you are forced to send her away. Let her know with some previous time so that she has the time to get organized with another family.
10. Always give to your au pair enough time for herself, but also propose her to spend time with you if she has nothing to do but do not take her with you for more help with the kids. This will be natural if she feels that you are really pleased to have her with you, not as a babysitter, but as a family member to share this experience with. It will be a time of enrichment for all participants in this cultural exchange. Always remember that to have an au pair will be very useful for the whole family, especially for your children because from an early age they will have the opportunity to learn so much from a person with a different culture from yours, as well as having someone that will talk to your children in her mother tongue.
If you want to tell us about your experience, feel free to write to: info@aupair-online.com
We will be happy to publish your story. Thanks.